A Lesson In Cross-Cultural Communication

Having been immersed in a culture where very few people speak my language, I have been able to observe so many important lessons in the art of cross-cultural communication.

When two people speak different languages, all you have to rely on is what little you hold in common, accompanied by intermittent gestures.

A couple of lessons:

Listen!  This might be one of the most important things that a person can do, and it's probably the most difficult.  The natural reaction - at least for Americans - is to keep talking, to fill the void of silence.  What we often don't understand is that all this talking does is jumble things up for both speakers.  Furthermore, this can lead to putting words in someone else's mouth, preventing communication.  Take time to listen.  Listen well.  This will make everything smoother.

Empathize.  One of the things that has helped me is to put myself in that person's shoes.  Think about history, about backgrounds, about linguistic influences, and then use those to interpret messages.  For example, Arabic doesn't contain the letter "p."  Knowing this, it's easy for me to interpret when a speaker says "beoble," that he is, in fact, saying "people."  Another example, I was at a cafe the other day, and I asked the man for hummus or bread, or anything to eat.  He said that he didn't have anything, and then he proceeded to continue the conversation in Arabic.  Knowing literally nothing that he was saying, I thought about how giving the Arabic people are, and I was able to surmise that he was asking me if I wanted him to walk down the street to get me food.  A little application of cultural knowledge can give way to linguistic understanding.

Recognize Patterns.  Much like empathizing, certain patterns can be seen in a language, and they can help out a lot.  For example, I have noticed that people here call grocery stores subermarkets.  Not thinking about it, I asked my Iraqi roommate what time the grocery store opened.  He looked at me, confused, and said he didn't know.  This left me really confused because it was such a simple question, and I knew that he knew the answer.  Later, I was able to discover that he didn't even know the word grocery store because everyone here says subermarket.  This also includes acknowledging filler words.  Here, the word "yani" gets said all the time.  There is no definite meaning in most cases.  Just a filler.

Make It Easy.  Don't read incorrectly.  I said make it easy, not dumb it down.  Communication can be achieved with increasing difficulty depending upon the grammatical structures and words employed.  Therefore, it's usually best to communicate in the simplest ways, even though they may not sound as smart or polite.  Don't try to impress, just try to get the point across.

Accept Nuances and Adapt.  Sometimes there will be words that are misused, phrases that are taken out of context, things that are misunderstood.  Most of the time, it's best to take it for what it's worth and just move on.  Again, the goal is getting the point across, not achieving perfection.

Cross-cultural communication is not easy.  It's messy, and it takes time to get it right.  I'm doing my best here. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.

For example, today in class, my classmate was trying to say 'exactly' (bizaBt), and she accidentally said 'naked' (bizaLt).  Hilarity ensued, followed by the other guy in class and myself using bizaLt in our next few example sentences.  The lesson?  Never will I ever forget how to say 'naked' in Arabic.

What I Miss About Camp

Allow me to take a break from the Jordanian adventure.

I've been torturing myself lately by spending what probably amounts to several hours of creeping through videos and photos of Centrikid 2011.  

As you are well aware, I chose to spend my summer just a little bit differently than last summer.  Although I don't regret the decision at all, a lot of my heart is rooted in Centrikid, and I do miss it so much more than I thought I would.  In honor of that hole that exists in my heart, I'll now be listing a few of those things that I miss.

Here's to nastalgia.

1.  Van Rides.  Travel is one of my most favorite things, and it becomes so much more exciting when done with amazing people.  It is for this reason that I miss riding in a van with twenty of my closest friends.  Whether it was singing, dancing, asking "What's one thing I don't know about you," breaking down,  van rides were always a good time, and we were able to bond so much during them.

2.  Dance Parties.  My team was composed of some of the best dancers that this world has ever seen.  Anytime that a song was on, you could bet that someone was busting a move.  Parking lots, restaurants, Walmart, everyone saw us, and we had no shame.  Why?  Because we.were.legit.

3.  Mexican Sundays.  Every single Sunday of camp, we went out for Mexican food.  Again, favorite food, favorite people.  What else does a person need?

4.  Matching.  Typically, I hate matching anyone else, but wearing the same thing as twenty other people makes you feel really connected.  Not to mention that everyday was composed of athletic shorts and a t-shirt.  Did this style put me in a horrible, never ending rut when I got back to school?  Yes.  My friends chose to name my new style "Camp-Chic."  I embrace it.

5.  Snapple Word of the Day.  For some reason, our team was obsessed with Snapple.  As a result, during every team meeting, we had a special time for the Snapple Word of the Day.  So much useless knowledge was gained.

6.  Snow Cones.  Loved making them, loved eating them. 

7.  Cuddle Puddles. Who doesn't love a good cuddle puddle?  In fact, we loved them so much that several of us chose to spend the last four weeks sleeping on a palate on the floor.  Normal.

8.  Taking Five Minute Showers.  Now, I know that this doesn't seem like a positive aspect, but it just comes with the territory.  When you don't even have time to enjoy a good shower, you know you're at camp.

9.  Running Through Walmart.  Walmart trips were a glorified scavenger hunt.  Budgeting, secret encourager gifts, necessities.  Get it all and get it quick.

10.  Skycroft.  I think I speak for my whole team when I say that when I think of camp 2010, I think of Skycroft Conference Center.  It was home.  The Lord did AMAZING things there.  I met many of my best friends there.  Skycroft holds a special place in my heart and will do so forever.  Skunk hunting can be included in this category.  Favorite pastime, especially at 2 am after I had talked myself awake during the night.

11.  Watermelon.  My team fancied the watermelon over all other fruits.  We had it almost daily.  

12.  Signing Autographs.  Makes you feel like a celebrity, even if only for a minute.  I'll never forget one kid in my Bible Study who came up to me literally weeping because he had to leave.  I remember my camp counselors from when I was a kid.  It's so weird to think that some kid remembers me in that same way.

13.  Silly Bands.  I worked camp during the era of the silly band.  As a result, I received fifty over the summer.  I wore them until probably March to remind me of what God did and continues to do.

14.  Secret Encouraging.  Each person on our team had a secret encourager who was supposed to surprise them with gifts, mail, notes, etc.  This was awesome because our team was full of baller gift givers.  People cried.  It was amazing.

15.  Sour Patch Kids.  Just another one of team's vices.  

16.  Rec Crew.  We had to get up about 30 minutes earlier than everyone else and set up rec everyday.  Although it was often a pain, we had a lot of fun together.

On to the serious stuff.

17.  Schedule.  Every minute of camp is scheduled.  Real life just isn't like that.  Now, while I do enjoy the freedom, there's just something about a schedule life that leads to peace.

18.  Worship.  Worshiping God when you are absolutely exhausted is one of the most incredible feelings in the world.  Giving everything you have allows the Father to provide.  The rest one experiences from giving all to the Lord is surreal. 

19.  Kids.  The kids that come to camp are there for a reason.  They come to experience the Lord, but they also come to teach the staff.  I learned so much from the kids who would share their lives with me.  I know that I poured into them, but I'm also certain and thankful that they were able to pour into me.

20.  Discipleship.  My team wasn't only full of best friends, but it was also full of disciplers.  We all taught and were taught throughout the summer.  Whether being lifted up in prayer, rebuked for wrong attitudes, or encouraged to keep pushing, those people were the definition of what it means to disciple.  

21.  Validation.  The adults that come to came serve such an awesome purpose.  They are so good at building up the staff and taking care of us just like a family.  Hearing their thankfulness that we loved their kids gave me the support that I needed to keep going.  Adult leaders were so good to our team.  We couldn't have done it without them.

22.  Accomplishment.  All summer, I knew that I was where God wanted me, and I knew that I was diligently working for His kingdom.  Although I am still trying that, it isn't as a clear now.  God used me to impact the lives of these kids in ways that they will never forget.  That's what I miss more than anything.

23.  Team.  I can't say enough how amazing my team was.  I'd do anything for any one of them, and I know that they feel the same.  Those twenty people will always be my family.  I think of them everyday and am constantly reminded of the lessons that I learned from them.  Never have I ever met people like them.  

One conversation that I remember from camp concluded with the idea that camp was the closest that a human can get to being in Heaven.  I think that is the most accurate description that can be given.  I could go on for hours about the things that I miss from camp, but I think I'll leave it for now.  

I pray daily for all of you who are working camp right now, and I know that you'll feel all of this as soon as August hits.  Woof.

  

Dead Sea and Wadi Mujib

Yesterday was without a doubt one of the top five best days of my life.

We headed out in the morning on our way to the Dead Sea.  It's the lowest point on the Earth, and the water is about ten times saltier than what's in the ocean.  There are some hotels and beaches, but there are no boats allowed on the sea, so the water is so peaceful.  I have never seen anything like it.  The drive through the valleys of Jordan was beautiful in itself.  I could have stopped right there.

After passing the road that leads into Palestine - it's closed off currently because Jordan refuses to recognize it - we made it to the Dead Sea.  Now, I knew that it was going to be big, but I couldn't have imagined this.  It's absolutely massive.



We parked the car and headed down to the sea.  Again, could have stopped here.  The hike through the rocks and along a little inlet was enough for me.  We made it down to the coast, white from all the salt buildup, and started to get in the water.  You have to be really careful getting in - see the face I'm making when I'm getting in the water.  The water is so salty, I can't even imagine what it would feel like in my eyes.  Instantly, the differences between this body of water and others present themselves.  First of all, you are literally floating on top of the water.  No lifeguard needed because it would be nearly impossible to drown.  The salt causes buoyancy, so you can sit back, float, stand up, run, jump, (sort of) swim, without getting your head wet.  Secondly, if you take a look at your hand under the water, it looks just like you are swimming in a vat of oil.  It was crazy, a surreal experience.


We got out of the water, and yet another difference.  Your skin doesn't know what to do without all the moisture that's been sucked out, so your it's soon as dry as it's ever been.  That sticky feeling that comes from the ocean is definitely there but multiplied by ten.  We hiked up to a waterfall to wash off before heading on for the rest of the day.  Could have stopped, but the day only got better.

Next, we headed to Wadi Mujib.  Basically, it's a huge canyon with a river through it.  We hiked up the river, which included rapids and huge rock formations that required us to use ropes to climb up rock faces and waterfalls.  The river also included leeches, which nibbled at your ankles the entire time.  Wadi Mujib was definitely one of the coolest things that I have ever done.  The sheer beauty of it all was astounding.  At the end of the wadi, there were three huge waterfalls.  On the way back, there are many parts of the river that are deep enough to float down, and there are several points where sliding down waterfalls is the only way to get back.  I was floating down the last part of the wadi and noticed a Jordanian sitting in the river.  As I passed by, he pulled my leg over to him and held me baby-style.  All I could hear was him asking, "Masaji?"  Over and over.  Embracing the culture, I obliged and settled in for my massage.  Couldn't ever come by that in the U.S.  In typical Arab fashion, he offered me a cigarette, which I declined, and then sent me on my way.  Nice to meet you, too, sir.  Have I told you that I love this place?

A Taste of Home

Last night, I was invited into my first Middle Eastern home.

We went to church with a couple of our teachers.  Afterword, much like my fellow Baptists, the Jordanians stand around and talk before leaving the sanctuary.  Naturally, we stuck around and chatted with people in broken sentences and motions.  All of the culture books that I have read talk about how inviting these people are, and I can't count the number of times that I've been told that I will get asked to someone's home within the first week.  I never believed that it would be true though.

Being from the south, I have observed my fair share of hospitality.  Sure, people say that they would love for you to come over and visit, but they rarely, if ever mean it.  It's a simple pleasantry that people often say but never intend to follow through with, and everyone knows it, so it all works.  All that I have read says that these people are the same in intention but quite the opposite in expectation.  Translation: if they invite you over, they mean now, and you better not say no.

Back to the church.  We were standing around when my teacher looks at me and says that her mother would like for us to come over.  Awestruck at the opportunity arriving so early into the trip, I'm pretty sure that I made a fool of myself through the excitement on my face.  I said yes probably ten times and couldn't stop smiling.  My Middle Eastern dreams were coming true, and I didn't care who knew it.

So, we started out on the walk.  I don't know if you noticed, but in the last blog, I mentioned the hills of Amman a lot - think San Fransisco.  In other words, this was a long, hard walk.  After climbing several of these 90 degree hills, we made it to the house.  Entering, I noticed that there were a lot more people there than I first expected.  Everyone got up to shake hands and speak what little English they knew.  There was a grandfather, grandmother, mother, father, uncle, brothers, and even friends from next door.  Somewhere close to fifteen people in a space that Americans would seat maybe four.  As soon as I sat down, plates of apricots, peaches, cucumbers, and some sort of berries were thrown my way.  "Eat."  Was all I heard before I was picking up the fruits and indulging in their goodness.  Everyone was talking and having a great time despite the fact that it was nearing ten o'clock - American parents totally would be heading to bed, definitely not inviting guests over.  I loved the feeling of family that was so present in that house.  I, myself, felt like a member.  That feeling is hard to come by in the states, especially from total strangers.  After about an hour, the tea came out along with another plate of delicious desserts.  "Eat more," was the popular phrase of the night.  Literally everything that I read about being invited into a home was true.  Can I say that I love this place too many times?  Never.

So, with my first home visit behind me, there are some resolutions that I'd like to make before coming back to the states.  I want to be like these people.  I want to focus on relationships before business, to put the comfort of others before my own, to be inviting and welcoming no matter the time or place, to offer my home and my food to those whom I love and even to strangers.  Everyday, I find something more that I want to take home.  My visit into the Middle Eastern home was definitely one of those moments.

I live in Amman, Jordan

Jordan is incredible.

I love absolutely everything here: the heat, the people, the language, the food, the culture, everything.

After many hours of traveling and a small spell of dehydration on the plane, I was so ready to have my feet on the ground.  Upon arriving, I was picked up at the airport and taken to my apartment.  I stepped out of the car to be greeted by a lovely dead cat lying on the sidewalk.  Jordan may not have the cleanest streets, but there is definitely something to be said for the views you can get from atop its dusty hills.  Our apartment is incredible, much nicer than what I had envisioned for this summer.

Several hours later, my roommate arrived.  When he got here, we went back to the apartment to unload our stuff.

The next several days were filled with getting to know people and exploring our neighborhood.  This can be fairly difficult when you know little to nothing of the language, but we made due.  We were treated to some very nice dinners by an American family here and were able to just spend time with their family, including their two awesome kids.  We met the third student who will be studying with us, and we got a new roommate who isn't studying with us - because he has been speaking Arabic since he was born.  He's awesome, and I'm sure he will provide some much needed assistance over the next 9 weeks.  I'm super excited to spend my summer getting to know these people.

One of the things that I have come to love about this culture is the aspect of community.  Yesterday, I was sitting out under the arbor at my apartment, and two men just walked right up and started speaking to me in Arabic.  Answering what little I could, I quickly realized that they were our downstairs neighbors just coming up for a chat.  Although it wasn't any lengthy conversation, it was something that almost never happens in the states anymore.  Secondly, last night, when we were watching a movie, my Iraqi roommate asked me if I liked Pepsi.  Replying with a yes and not really expecting much else, he jumped off the couch, ran to the kitchen to grab me a cup, and poured me the last of his Pepsi while he went on and on about how much he loves the drink.  Being a male college student, I'm well aware of how rare this would be in the states, as well.  Nine times out of ten, I'm begging my roommates to share food with me, much less for them to get up and fix me a drink at their own will.

Yesterday, we visited Tel-Amman, which includes the ruins of the old city.  It was so legit to see a place with such ancient history.  The United States, being such a young country, just doesn't have the richness that can be found among the hills of Amman.

 A view of Amman from one of the hills.

Some of the ruins in Tel-Amman.

The Roman amphitheater.            

The hand and the elbow of the state of Hercules.

I start Arabic classes in just a few hours.  I'm nervous but also really excited to start learning this language.  I've picked up several words already.  For instance, if you need me to direct a taxi for you, I've got you covered.  What I don't have covered are food words.  I have eaten some of the most delicious food of my life, but I honestly can't tell you the name of one thing that I have had, nor can I go to a restaurant and order it.

Needless to say, this has already been an incredible trip.  Every time that I walk through the city, I have to remind myself that I'm living in the Middle East.  Six months ago, I never would have imagined that I'd be here.

I live in Amman, Jordan.  Woah, still sounds crazy.