Doors, windows, and getting through them.

I hate clichés.  All of them.

"Whenever God closes a door, He always opens a window."

This one might be my least favorite.

Alright, I get the idea.  When opportunities don't work out, the world isn't over.  You aren't stuck in this limbo of a room that has four walls and no escape.  I would even go as far to say that, in the end, you will be happier with the outcome and the journey that occurs as a result of these 'failures.'

When you're walking along though, it isn't the end of the journey that you can see.  You see what's around you.  What's behind you.  But you can't see into the future...what you will feel like when this all over...what you look back and think about the circumstances...what you laugh about, cry about, regret.

Who's to say that you are supposed to forget about that door that you've been looking at for months?  What about all the work you did, all the heart you put in?  Can't you just mourn that for a while, instead of being told to go check out the nearest window?

We need definitions.

Door: any gateway marking an entrance or exit from one place or state to another.

Window: an opening in the wall of a building for the admission of air or light.

These two things do not even serve the same purpose.  A door provides entrance into a new place.  A window let's in some air, some light, and, on the worst of days, bugs.  Who wants that?

Lately, it seems as though doors have been closing right and left, and I've been told more times than I can count to go looking for a window.

The problem is that I'm trying to get to a new place.  I know what the view looks like from here. I've felt the breezes, and I've dealt with the bugs.  A window isn't serving any purpose for me.  I'm on the lookout for something a little bigger, a little better.

Cliché: a trite, stereotyped expression; a sentence or phrase, usually expressing a popular or common thought or idea that has lost originality, ingenuity, and impact by long overuse. 

I hate clichés, and, most importantly, who wants to crawl through a window anyway?


So, for now, I'm not okay with just looking for a window.  I'm holding out for a door.  I know that my God is not teasing me with light and air in the stead of an entrance.  


“Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened. Or which one of you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a serpent? If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him!" - Matthew 7:7-11 


There's a door out there, and I'm going to keep searching until I find it.


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New Place Numero Uno

One of my resolutions was to visit new places.

"I want to take a trip to a new place every 3 months."

This really is not as lofty as a goal as I'd originally intended, so let me specify.  It has to be somewhere completely new.  There are no qualifications for size or stature, just new and full of adventure.  Also, I want to do this more than just once every 3 months, but I wanted to make sure that I could accomplish it, and that parameter was necessary for success.

My first visit to a new place was ... drum roll ... Georgetown University.

This place is incredible.  I stepped on campus and was enveloped by the campus's beauty and prestige.  My liking for Georgetown has come from many places.  First, it's the oldest and largest International Relations school in the United States, making it perfect for the potential future of my education.  Secondly, we all know that I love D.C.  This university is located in one of the coolest areas of the city, appropriately known as, well, Georgetown.  

Third, I needed an NCAA team, as my roommate has recently been educating me about the world that is spectator sports.  Though they may not be national champions or, quite frankly, any good, for that matter, I have chosen the Georgetown Hoyas.  Hoya Saxa to that!

On a side note, some of the dorms are row-houses, which I love love love.  Sure I'll be a grad student if I attend, but can I please live in an on-campus row-house?  Please.

All in all, I loved Georgetown, and it was a great way to start my visiting of new places.  It was a solo visit, so the adventure aspect was a little lacking.  I walked around a little, tried to blend in not stand out, and, like any good visitor, bought a sweatshirt.

I'd love to be a Hoya some day, but until then, I'll relish in my status as a mere Bulldog and just keep adventuring.

20 Years

It's weird that I can now begin - and I do mean begin - to say that things happened "twenty years ago."


The entirety of my life can be summed up in that one statement.  Oh, how things have changed.


Twenty years ago, I was laying in a blanket, probably asleep, drooling on myself, unable to hold my head up, unable to do anything really.  Now, I sit in a Panera Bread in Washington, D.C. - technically Arlington, VA -, writing a blog on my laptop, putting off my homework, awaiting text replies on my cell phone, and indulging in the glory that is a Starbucks latte and coffee cake.


What will the next twenty years hold? 
The end of my formal education.
Getting married?
Starting a family?
Beginning a career.
Lots of travel, including that which is international.
Gaining much needed wisdom and guidance from the Lord.
Developing into an adult something.
Exploring my calling.
Adventure.

You have five minutes to wallow in the delicious misery. 

Enjoy it, embrace it, discard ...and proceed.  - Elizabethown.

It's the start of a new decade.  Bring it..

Musical Recap

I was in love with the place in my mind, in my mind.

The stars, the moon, they have all been blown out.

Words were never meant to be this half spoken.

I am folded, and unfolded, and unfolding.

I can see a lot of life in you.

Enjoy.

Cliche New Year Blog

2011 has begun, and I have gotten the privilege of spending all of it, so far, in my favorite city in America.  I have literally been doing nothing, so I've had lots of time to think about what I want the next year of my life to look like.  Now, I realize that what I want it to look like is not at all what it will be.  At the outset of 2010, I had no clue what was coming.  It was undoubtedly one of the best years of my life, one in which I changed and grew exponentially.

In 2010,

I finished my freshman year of college with one of the toughest semesters ever.

I got a dog and learned about taking responsibility for something other than myself. 

I changed a diaper for the first time.

As a result of the last two, I decided I don't know if I ever want to have a child.  

I met and spent the summer with the 20 most incredible people on the planet.

With them, I saw God work in ways that I couldn't imagine both in myself and in others.

I learned so much about relationships and what they mean for both people.  I'm still learning how to construct a healthy one.

I completed organic chemistry and decided that I wasn't meant to be a chemist at all.

I picked up political science and Spanish and determined a new career path.

I spent the semester having a blast with three of my best friends and roommates.

I learned so much from them about having a balanced life.  

I recognized that I should travel while I have the chance, and I've done it extensively throughout the north and southeast.

I ate oysters, hummus, kimchi and a host of other new foods.

I skipped classes, hung out with people over doing homework did a host of things I normally wouldn't do, and ultimately, enjoyed life for the first time.

It was an incredible year, and I know that 2011 will bring so much more.

I'm terrible at setting goals and sticking to them.  If I put them here, I'll have accountability.  Here's what I expect out of you, 2011.

I want to save $50 a month (note that I'm in college, so this is fairly significant).

I want to tithe $50 a month (see note above).

I want to find a mentor.

I want to read a book every 3 months and make at least one of these be in Spanish.

I want to set up spending spring semester of 2012 in a Hispanic country (I recognize that this is a goal really for 2012, but all of the set up will occur in 2011).

I want to run a half marathon and, at least, two 5-K's.

I want to take a trip to a new place every 3 months.

I want to blog at least twice a month.

Additionally, I desire to take initiative to gain the opportunities I desire, to learn from others as much as possible, to have lunch with people I don't normally hang out with, to learn to ask questions, to read and watch more news, and to try new foods.

Here's to you 2011.

Adventures in Travel

Lately, I've been traveling.  A lot.  Here's a vague report of my adventures:

First on the list, traveling to DC.  Getting there was the most stressful, yet fulfilling traveling experience to date.  I was running a little late for my flight, so I wasn't sure that I'd make it anyway.  After probably a mile sprint to the gate, I made it just in time - thank you half marathon training.  I had also checked in a little late, so I was in the back of the boarding line.  I get on the plane, hear that the whole plane is booked, and naturally head to the back.  When I get there, there are no seats left, so I head back to the front where I find a single seat with all kinds of junk in it from the two men on either side.  Excuse me, did you hear that the whole plan is booked?  Move your junk.  So I sit down, and after some baggage issues get solved, I settle in to sleep for the flight.  Next, the men on either side start talking, a lot.  So long sleep, but then they acknowledge me, begin asking questions, etc.  I come to find out that one of them had worked in Jackson that day and loves my favorite sushi restaurant and, at the end of the flight, the other gives me his business card, which, if I play my cards right, could come in handy in the future.  The Lord provides.  I got off the plane, knowing that my travel had really just begun.  There was still the bus, amtrack, metro, and walk to my buddy's apartment ahead.  Note that I have the best friends in the world because, to my surprise, he was there at the airport to meet me. What a guy.

I spent the week in the nation's capital.  Lots of solo exploring, reading, and thinking occurred.  More on that later.

After this week, I got back on a plane, this time headed south.  New Orleans greeted me in its typical fashion: baggage confusion, rudeness, etc.  Love that place.  I was in the NOLA, this time, to watch another great friend of mine graduate with his Masters degree, help him move, and enjoy the fine cuisine that can actually be found in the city.  I completed all of these tasks, namely the cuisine: oysters, alligator, all of the fine things.  

Next up, the drive from NOLA to Huntsville.  I love to drive, so this was no problem.  Moved in my friend's stuff, spent some time learning where he came from and just enjoying spending time with him.  The Lord has blessed my life with some incredible people.

I next went from Huntsville to Nashville where I met up with even more incredible people.  We did lots of 'Nashville things' including Opryland's lights.  It was a nice start to the week of Christmas.

Finally, the drive from Nashville home.  I spent two weeks traveling much of the Eastern US only to come home to the tiny town of Lexington.  I'm thankful for the time that I spent here growing up, but it is no place to be after a few good weeks of culture.  For this reason, I'm heading out again on Monday.  Back to my favorite city, Washington, D.C.  Adventures will be had.  

On another note, it's Christmas Eve.  Merry Christmas!  I'm so thankful that my savior came to this earth in the form of a human child and that I am able to celebrate his birth at this time.  I am even more thankful that this child grew to conquer sin and death, all for you and me.  Praise the Lord!

We're Not in Kansas Anymore

I'm from a small town.

I came to the realization quite some time ago that life wouldn't always be small town, and there is no part of me that wants it to be.

(Sidenote: Excuse my pride. There's a point, I promise.)  As a member of that small town, I generally got what I wanted.  I was always considered for whatever leadership positions I wanted, I was a member of every team, club, and organization that I wanted to be a part of, I wasn't denied much.

As I am now applying for an internship with the United States Department of State, I'm recognizing the impact of this so called, small town complex. Coming to the realization that there are literally millions (billions?) of people who are smarter, more involved, essentially, better out there in the world is a hard concept to grasp when you've always been told that you're the best.

So, I filled out my application.  It took me at least a month, and though I have turned it in, I'm still not happy with it.

Throughout the process of this application, I have consistently been questioning my self worth, evaluating my experiences thus far, exploring how I can improve those for the future, and I have had to be constantly encouraged by my identity in Christ.  This experience was, at times, a crushing blow to my self confidence.  Something that I needed.  I have been putting so much stock into who I am and what I've done that I have forgotten that who I am should be rooted in Christ.

In Psalm 139: 13-14a, David writes, "For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb.  I praise you for I am fearfully and wonderfully made."  He continues in verse 16, "Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, everyone one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there were none of them."

The Lord has a plan for me.  It began in that small town, and despite my intimidation and apprehension, it is carrying me into a very big world.

I'm not from a small God.