Adventures in Travel

Lately, I've been traveling.  A lot.  Here's a vague report of my adventures:

First on the list, traveling to DC.  Getting there was the most stressful, yet fulfilling traveling experience to date.  I was running a little late for my flight, so I wasn't sure that I'd make it anyway.  After probably a mile sprint to the gate, I made it just in time - thank you half marathon training.  I had also checked in a little late, so I was in the back of the boarding line.  I get on the plane, hear that the whole plane is booked, and naturally head to the back.  When I get there, there are no seats left, so I head back to the front where I find a single seat with all kinds of junk in it from the two men on either side.  Excuse me, did you hear that the whole plan is booked?  Move your junk.  So I sit down, and after some baggage issues get solved, I settle in to sleep for the flight.  Next, the men on either side start talking, a lot.  So long sleep, but then they acknowledge me, begin asking questions, etc.  I come to find out that one of them had worked in Jackson that day and loves my favorite sushi restaurant and, at the end of the flight, the other gives me his business card, which, if I play my cards right, could come in handy in the future.  The Lord provides.  I got off the plane, knowing that my travel had really just begun.  There was still the bus, amtrack, metro, and walk to my buddy's apartment ahead.  Note that I have the best friends in the world because, to my surprise, he was there at the airport to meet me. What a guy.

I spent the week in the nation's capital.  Lots of solo exploring, reading, and thinking occurred.  More on that later.

After this week, I got back on a plane, this time headed south.  New Orleans greeted me in its typical fashion: baggage confusion, rudeness, etc.  Love that place.  I was in the NOLA, this time, to watch another great friend of mine graduate with his Masters degree, help him move, and enjoy the fine cuisine that can actually be found in the city.  I completed all of these tasks, namely the cuisine: oysters, alligator, all of the fine things.  

Next up, the drive from NOLA to Huntsville.  I love to drive, so this was no problem.  Moved in my friend's stuff, spent some time learning where he came from and just enjoying spending time with him.  The Lord has blessed my life with some incredible people.

I next went from Huntsville to Nashville where I met up with even more incredible people.  We did lots of 'Nashville things' including Opryland's lights.  It was a nice start to the week of Christmas.

Finally, the drive from Nashville home.  I spent two weeks traveling much of the Eastern US only to come home to the tiny town of Lexington.  I'm thankful for the time that I spent here growing up, but it is no place to be after a few good weeks of culture.  For this reason, I'm heading out again on Monday.  Back to my favorite city, Washington, D.C.  Adventures will be had.  

On another note, it's Christmas Eve.  Merry Christmas!  I'm so thankful that my savior came to this earth in the form of a human child and that I am able to celebrate his birth at this time.  I am even more thankful that this child grew to conquer sin and death, all for you and me.  Praise the Lord!

We're Not in Kansas Anymore

I'm from a small town.

I came to the realization quite some time ago that life wouldn't always be small town, and there is no part of me that wants it to be.

(Sidenote: Excuse my pride. There's a point, I promise.)  As a member of that small town, I generally got what I wanted.  I was always considered for whatever leadership positions I wanted, I was a member of every team, club, and organization that I wanted to be a part of, I wasn't denied much.

As I am now applying for an internship with the United States Department of State, I'm recognizing the impact of this so called, small town complex. Coming to the realization that there are literally millions (billions?) of people who are smarter, more involved, essentially, better out there in the world is a hard concept to grasp when you've always been told that you're the best.

So, I filled out my application.  It took me at least a month, and though I have turned it in, I'm still not happy with it.

Throughout the process of this application, I have consistently been questioning my self worth, evaluating my experiences thus far, exploring how I can improve those for the future, and I have had to be constantly encouraged by my identity in Christ.  This experience was, at times, a crushing blow to my self confidence.  Something that I needed.  I have been putting so much stock into who I am and what I've done that I have forgotten that who I am should be rooted in Christ.

In Psalm 139: 13-14a, David writes, "For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb.  I praise you for I am fearfully and wonderfully made."  He continues in verse 16, "Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, everyone one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there were none of them."

The Lord has a plan for me.  It began in that small town, and despite my intimidation and apprehension, it is carrying me into a very big world.

I'm not from a small God.

On My Southbound Train

I currently sit in the apartment of my good friend in New Orleans, Louisiana.  How did I get here?  Oh, you know, just your everyday train.

Thursday morning at two am, I headed to the Amtrak station in Memphis where, after getting pulled over for the first time in my life .. ouch .. I boarded my very first train.  It was definitely an experience that I won't forget.  People are so interesting, and the depravity of man is so very evident in watching people and hearing their lives.  What a wake up call.

One of the women who sat behind me on the train told a story of her daughter that she lost only a few days after bringing her home from the hospital.  The daughter was born with Cerebral Palsy, but all the woman could say of her child was how thankful she was that she had no complications and that she went peacefully in her sleep.  Would I feel that thankfulness or would I grieve over the loss of my child?

Another man, sitting across from me, had his car stolen while he was on the train.  My heart immediately went out to him.  I thought of how I should help him.  Prayer was an obvious go to, but I felt there was more that I should do.  I began running over how I would talk with him, the words I'd use.  Then, I got out my wallet.  I thought of how I would give him the twenty dollar bill that I had so that he could get a train ticket home.  All of these thoughts, and then my filthy flesh took over.

He began cursing about his situation and making plans to turn in all of these things that 'were in the back of his car' into his insurance company so that he could get money.  All of the great things that I felt the Lord asking me to do immediately dissolved as I thought how undeserving this man was of my grace.  The statement I just wrote is inherent to this problem.  My grace?  What does that even mean?

I make a fool of myself taking for granted all that the Lord has given me, yet he never, ever, withholds His grace from me.  Who was I to withhold what little grace I have from a man who made a mistake just like I do everyday?

On the train to New Orleans, I learned who I am called to love and why.  My God calls me to love what we, as a society, have made unlovable.  How am I any different from this man?  Don't I lie, don't I cheat, don't I steal?  Yet, my God has crazy love for me.

The Lord's heart is that we become more like Him.  Drawing from what I said above, I can't do this by showing 'my grace.'  I did that, and it was nothing.  I have to show others God's grace, the infinite grace of the Father who sustains my worthless heart daily.

As I continue on this journey to where the Lord is leading me, I hope to show more of his grace daily both to those who love and, especially, to those who do not.  I can only hope to meet this man again sometime and to fix what I did wrong, but I know that even if I don't, my God will provide me with opportunities to shine his light again.

I'm learning my lesson.

Throw Down Your Staff

This summer was the most amazing point in my life to date, and if you’ve been around me lately, then you know that I can’t stop talking about it.  Though I cannot truly apologize for that, I know that I had an experience this summer that has changed who I am, and I’d love to tell you about one of those lessons.

Upon coming home, things got shaken up a lot for me.  Throughout the summer, I knew that I wasn’t where the Lord needed me.  Something in my life wasn’t right.  Now it wasn’t a particular sin I was dealing with or a problem; it was a habit, a security.  I distinctly remember one night during worship, hearing the Lord speak to me in an all but audible voice, telling me to let go of it.  I continued to run for the next couple of weeks, trying to feel it out on my own.  Bad choice.  As soon as I got home, I took the leap of faith.

Soon enough, it was time to come back to Union, and though I was happy to see all of my friends again, I didn’t want to be here.  I wanted to go back to camp where life was ‘simple’ and things were ‘easy,’ where I was surrounded by 19 of the most Spirit-filled people I’ve ever met, but the Lord has ended that season, and this is where  I have to be.  So, PCD (post camp depression) set in, and I was bitter, am bitter. 

Classes started, and I was miserable.  I let go of one thing in my life, and it seemed as though nothing was going the way I had planned.  This wasn’t what I had in mind.  I was supposed to feel great, I followed the Lord, did what He asked, but I didn’t feel any better.  I think it was because He wasn’t done shaking things up. 

My quiet times lately have come from the book of Exodus.  I’ve been struggling with this because it’s the OT and I have to work much harder to find the application for my life, but the Lord slapped me in the face with this one.  As I read about Moses his calling from the burning bush, I recognized that I have a lot in common with the old guy.  Moses feared his calling.  He didn’t think he was adequate, knew that he wasn’t a good speaker, knew that he couldn’t lead the Israelites.  I’m not exactly like him, but I certainly do fear my calling.  I fear letting go and letting the Lord lead.     

When Moses was questioning the Lord, the Lord asked Moses to throw down his staff.  Now, Moses’s staff was his security.  It was what kept him going, what he leaned on for sustenance, but the Lord wants us to lean on Him, and Him alone.  This is the lesson I’m learning. 

So, I’m attempting to throw down my staffs, to let go of all things to which I cling when things get out of control.  Will this make me happy?  I’m not sure and there’s no pillar of fire or cloud for me to follow directly, but I’m doing the best I can, and that’s all that He asks.

In conclusion, this blog was started to chronicle this passage.  I think of my path in life as a journey toward the land that God has planned out for me, much like Canaan for Moses, ergo the title.  Yes, this is much like a journal, but my hope is that you can learn from my mistakes, laugh at my mishaps, and share in my joys.   

Proverbs 19:21 says, “Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand.” 

This is me, seeking His purpose, rather than mine.